Embracing the Uncomfortable: My Journey Through Healing and Self-Discovery
I’ve been diving back into my practices of yoga, energy work, and meditation recently. Over the last few weeks, a great deal has surfaced for me. After an intense weekend filled with dancing, yoga, and Kirtan (chanting), my back began to hurt. It wasn't a familiar pain, but one that felt as though years of pent-up emotions and tensions were starting to shift. I became aware of how tight and closed off I had been, as if my body was yearning to release these stagnant emotions.
Incorporating more meditation, singing, and yoga into my life, I sought out an energetic soul clearing from a shaman. I sensed there were things within me needing assistance to be released. Concurrently, I was gently reminded to trust in my inner wisdom.
Meditation has been a vital tool in this journey, aiding in tuning into the various voices in my mind. Among them, not all are positive and life-affirming. It's been crucial to sift through these thoughts and recognize patterns, actively choosing to release self-defeating notions to unearth the deep-seated truth within.
Post-clearing, I felt a surge of energy and excitement. I respected my boundaries, exiting an event when I felt the inner tug signaling it was time to leave, a whisper I would have ignored before due to fear of missing out, leaving me depleted and exhausted. That night I slept soundly. However, I awoke enveloped in an unfamiliar deep sadness that I haven't been able to simply shake off.
In the past, my approach would have been to force and push my way through these feelings, perpetually doing more – walking, yoga, relentless activity. Yet, a gentle voice whispered, “be still, take a bath, breathe, and let the emotions surface.”
Depak Chopra suggests writing out concerns without worrying about coherence, simply allowing the words and feelings to flow. And indeed, sometimes we need to permit the emergence of sadness or other emotions, especially for individuals like myself who tend to suppress them, maintaining a facade of “everything’s fine.” Sounds familiar?
Resisting these feelings obstructs our intentions and natural flow state. The battle between resistance and intention can either leave us feeling stuck or propel us forward. It's within our control to decide the outcome. Consistently resisting these emotions could perpetuate a continuous cycle of feeling stuck and unhappy.
Feeling various emotions is a normal, natural, albeit uncomfortable part of life. I'm learning that it's okay to feel sadness or any other emotion. Without expressing and allowing these feelings to be present and pass through, we entrench ourselves in an ongoing cycle of emotional turmoil. By accepting and sitting with our emotions as they arise, we permit these cycles to move through to completion, allowing for genuine healing and understanding to take root.